Nordics Prank the World
by Doe Eyes at Dusk
Summary: April first is here again and the rest of the nations are learning just how ruthless the Nordic 5 can really be. Everything from prank calls to a faked death leaves the world wondering when (and if) the torture will ever end, while others just wish they could kill whatever idiot created this particular 'Holiday of Hell'.
March 26th, 1:45 PM

Norway sipped his coffee thoughtfully while listening to Denmark's seemingly pointless rant. At least, it would've been pointless to anyone who wasn't a member of the Nordic 5. (And yes, Norway is drinking coffee mid afternoon. Why? Because he can.)

"Alright guys! April Fools is almost here and we still haven't come up with any good pranks! We've gotta step up our game with something that'll really get their attention and just blow them completely away! I'm thinking something big! Something extravagant!"

Finland leaned forward slightly, hanging on to every word. Next to him, Iceland looked like he wanted to say something but had decided to wait until after the Dane was finished with his inspirational speech.

Norway sighed, "Did you really call a meeting just for this? Quite frankly, I'm surprised you even know what the word 'extravagant' means." This earned him a glare from Sweden, "Y' shouldn' say th't, Norw'y. Apr'l f'rst 's one o' th' mos' imp'rtant days o' th' ye'r fer us pr'nksters. … Altho'gh I agr' tha' 'e didn' seem sm'rt eno'gh to kn'w wha' th' w'rd extravagant meant."

Norway sighed again and frowned slightly in concentration, "I think it'd be a good idea to stick with the tradition of the annual Nordic Family Prank War. Does anyone else have any suggestions?"

"We should put all the countries' names in a hat and draw five at random! Then we can send all of them a prank call!" Finland grinned brightly and looked like he was about to jump out of his seat from excitement. "Alright!" Denmark yelled, writing down Norway's and Finland's ideas on a notepad, "We'll go with that! But I still think we should also go with something huge that'll sweep everyone off their feet!"

Norway shook his head, showing that he had nothing else to contribute.

Finland waved his hand in the air and stared off into space, thinking hard.

Sweden just mumbled something along the lines of 'I g't nothin''.

Denmark sighed again, somehow without losing his trademark grin, "Well, if any of you do happen to come up with something don't hesitate to let the rest of us know!"

Iceland looked up from where he'd been sitting in the corner with his head on his hand. "I may have something…" he muttered quietly, glancing around as if to make sure that no one other than the Nordics were listening (not that there was anyone else in the house). He then leaned in close and whispered his plans to the rest of the family, still taking extra care that not even Mr. Puffin heard what he said (the bird was known for gossiping).

"OH GOD ICEY I LOVE IT!" Denmark yelled at the top of his lungs, completely oblivious to the glare he was receiving from a certain Norwegian who was less than enthusiastic. He immediately started scribbling the idea on his notepad, his excitement making his handwriting indecipherable. Sweden nodded in agreement, "S'ms t' good t' b' true."

"Alright! Norge, I'm gonna borrow your hat!" Denmark was still yelling (to everyone's utter disappointment) as he tore a piece of paper into strips and gave them to Finland to write names on them, seeing as the Finn had the best handwriting out of all of them. Naturally, everyone was wondering why Denmark hadn't just let Finland write all the notes in the first place.

As soon as the names of all the nations were in the hat in the center of the table, the Nordic 5 took turns pulling names. The unlucky countries whose names had been drawn were England, America, Russia, China, and Lithuania. Unfortunately, those countries had no idea of their fate that was to come.

* * *

March 31st, 11:31 PM

Denmark grabbed the megaphone that was sitting beside his bed and snuck his way into the kitchen silently. Once there, he checked to make sure that the megaphone was set to it's highest level of volume and sat down to wait for the last few minutes.

There was a small 'tick' noise as the hands on the clock shifted into their position over the twelve. Denmark quietly stood up on the table and switched the megaphone on, unaware that there was already someone under the table waiting for him.

Iceland darted out from his hiding place and tackled the older Nordic's legs, effectively knocking him off the table, "Not this year, ya bitch!"

"Nooo! You're more of a bitch than I am!" Denmark wailed as he kicked Iceland off of him and scrambled for the megaphone, screaming "I DECLARE PRANK WAR!" as loud as he could into it.

"God damnit!" Iceland groaned from his spot on the floor, holding his ears tightly.

Norway, Sweden, and Finland ran into the room, looking impossibly pissed off.

Of course Norway had to check on Iceland to make sure that his _lillebror_ wasn't hurt, but that didn't mean that he couldn't stop and strangle Denmark before he did. After confirming that Iceland wasn't seriously hurt other than a couple of bruises and scolding him for his vulgar language, Norway trudged back to his room for his spell book. Eventually everyone else disbanded too, presumably returning to their rooms for some much needed (and quite possibly nonexistent) rest.

Later that morning, a truce was declared during and after breakfast that would last just long enough to get the prank calls underway and finished.

"We should start with America," Finland grinned happily, "I've already got an idea!"

Whether or not anyone agreed didn't seem to matter at the moment, considering that the Finn had already picked up the phone and starting dialing America's number.

(The following was recorded on the phone. Alfred F. Jones was refusing to cooperate peacefully.)

 _Briiinng. Briiinng. Briiinng._

"This is the IRS. Alfred, we need to talk."

"No way… Finland? Are you having a sale on used cars?"

"What? NO! This is the IRS!"

"Seriously dude? Your cover's been blown already."

"Who's prank-calling who here?"

"Hey, is Icey there? Tell him 'hi' for me!"

"Um, okay. I'll get him on the phone… This is Iceland."

"Uh... no, it's not."

"Well, darn. That didn't work."

"Really, Alfred?"

"YO ICEY WHAT'S UP?"

"America, I'm not deaf! ... Which is a miracle considering that I live with Denmark..."

(This marks the end of the phone conversation.)

Iceland sighed as he hung up, ending the failed prank-call on America that had definitely not gone according to plan. "So… Russia next then?"

Norway shook his head, "I was thinking England. I'll talk to him."

(This is yet another phone recording. Maybe I should stop stating the obvious?)

 _Briiinng._

"e~n~g~l~a~n~d~"

"What?! Who is this!?"

"E~n~g~l~a~n~d~"

"I swear, this had better not be another one of those witches that's come back from the dead."

"E~n~g~l~a~n~d~"

"Frog, if you're trying to trick me into thinking that Joan is haunting me for revenge I won't have it!"

"E~N~G~L~A~N~D~"

"... … … … … … … … … … … "

(End, because England decided that he'd had enough and hung up the phone. That asshole.)

"Well… China next?" Norway asked, handing the phone to Denmark, who nodded. Again, what's with the ridiculous grin that's always on his face?

(Do I really need to say it? I told you I should stop stating the obvious.)

 _Briiinng. Briiinng. Briiinng. Briiinng. Briiinng._

 _Recorded message: No one is available to take your call, please leave a message after the tone. Briiinng._

"Dude, totally awesome China! Why ain't ya answerin' yer phone?! I was all up and about to challenge you to a totally sick rap battle! Japan says you like rap! He'd better not be all up and lying to my awesome kingly face now, ya hear!? Get back to me yo!"

(China is either not home, or he learned his lesson after what happened last time. *shudder*)

Denmark then proceeded to be an idiot and threw the phone at Sweden's face, "You're turn! Call Russia!" The phone missed Sweden completely and shattered against the wall. And that was the end of the prank calling spree.

It was also the end of the temporary truce between the five members of the household.

* * *

April 1st, 1:22 PM

Denmark peeked into the house and climbed through the window, only to be left suspended upside down in the air.

"NORWAY!" He screamed as a nerf bullet hit him square in the head. As if his green and red hair wasn't enough.

"Ahahahahahaha! That's for taking all my rifles out of my closet!" Finland laughed and ran out of the room, presumably to shoot someone else.

"IT WASN'T ME! IT WAS THE SWEDE!"

Sixty seconds later, Denmark fell out of the air and hit the ground with a thud. Grumbling, he trudged into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator to get a drink (wink wink). Or at least he would've, had he not been suspended in the air again when he got close to the refrigerator, "NORWAY!"

The trap released him earlier this time, but it was still just as painful. At least he was finally able to get his much needed drink. In the other room, Sweden was grumbling about the ruined furniture and the legos that had been scattered all over the floor.

Denmark looked up when he felt something cold fall on his head. Snow. It was snowing inside. Frost spread across the floor, slowly creeping over everything. Iceland sat at the table in the same position as when they'd first had the meeting to discuss April 1st, only this time he had a dark look in his eyes.

"You guys wouldn't let me turn the floor into lava this year, so I had to get revenge for the bucket of ice you left hanging over my door in a different way. Deal with it."

"OH CRAP I ALMOST FORGOT WE HAVEN'T FINISHED OUR PRANK CALLS YET! FINLAND GET THE PHONE!"

Finland slid into the room, holding the phone proudly and gracefully falling on his butt, "Already way ahead of you, Denmark!" Sweden entered shortly afterward, picking his way carefully across the ice.

"W'ldn't i' be m're pr'ctic'l 'nd pr'f'ssion'l t' s'nd th' m'ss'ge thr'gh a gr'up 'mail?"

Norway, who had been hiding out in the cupboard for awhile apparently, looked out from his hiding place and nodded to express his agreement before closing himself in the cabinets again. He was probably trying to make sure that no one got to his coffee, but no one had the heart to tell him that it was too late.

Meanwhile, Iceland was already opening the Nordics' shared email account on the laptop.

Email (addressed to all nations): _The Nordics would like to announce that they have decided to reform the Kalmar Union. The paperwork has been taken care of and their leaders have come to an agreement. The Nordics will be hosting a party tomorrow (April 2_ _nd_ _) at 11:15 AM to celebrate. Lunch will be served._

After Sweden and Norway both proofread the message, it was sent out.

"Well, that's done," Finland said cheerfully, "Now to start on the decorations!"

* * *

April 2nd, 11:10 AM

As the first of the party guests arrived, they were shocked to see that everything was decked out in black. As though in preparation for a funeral; the only thing missing was a casket.

Iceland was sitting at a table with his head in his hands. Sweden was standing at his shoulder to comfort him. Finland and Norway were nowhere to be found and Denmark was just wondering around aimlessly.

When everyone finally arrived, Denmark went to the front of the room to make an announcement, although his heart wasn't really in it.

"I suppose you're all wondering why the mood is so solemn given the circumstance… I regret to be the one to inform you that there has been an accident. I don't like having to bring this up, but Norway is no longer with us… Due to an unfortunate incident… I'm sorry… I just want to say what an amazing guy he was, an incredible viking and the best at pulling off the most outrageous April Fools. Of course, he had his trolls to help him." Denmark paused a moment, "And I have one final statement: Happy April Fools!"

Immediately, Norway walked into the room, followed by Finland.

"You heard the guy! No one's dead and we're not actually reforming the Kalmar Union! Now get off our property!" Finland yelled, brandishing one of his rifles.

* * *

 **A/N: I intended to post this a little earlier, but ugh. Deadlines, y'know? Anyway, I hope it's to your liking and I apologize for any mistakes, grammatically or otherwise.**


End file.
